Speechless

The Maltz is at a loss for words.
-The Maltz

A shot at Love

So it looks like The Maltz is going to get a shot at Love after all. No, Tila Tequila isn't coming over for date night. Instead, the Minnesota Timberwolves acquired Kevin Love from the Memphis Grizzlies in an 8 player trade. As some of you may know, The Maltz is a season ticket holder of the Timberwolves via the "Pay the Pick" deal: http://www.cnbc.com/id/24162574. Go 'Wolves.

-The Maltz

For the record

When The Maltz boarded his flight to LA from Seattle, the Alaska Airlines plane was playing Grateful Dead in the background. While I can appreciate the tunes, that's not exactly the vibe I was going for. I think I'd prefer my pilots to listen to Mozart or Beethoven...

For the record:

a) Sharapova is no Kornakova - I love Anna.

b) Yi is no Yao - what are the Nets thinking?

c) Turkey lost to Germany - let's go Spain.

d) Root Beer, Arnold Palmers, Strawberry Quick, Mint Snapple and Yoo-hoo are all underrated beverages.

e) Tila Tequila is Queen - I want a Shot at Love.

-The Maltz

This makes cents

For all the degenerate gamblers reading this blog, The Maltz has a cool site for you: http://www.centsports.com/login.php

CentSports.com lets you place real for-money sports bets for free. When you first sign up for CentSports, you get ten cents ($0.10) play money to bet with. You can use this to bet on almost any major college or professional sporting event (MLB, NBA and NFL games, etc.) Anything you win you keep and can use to place more bets, accumulating money as you go. You can cash out whenever you want as soon as you have a balance of over $20.00 play money.

First to $100 buys the beers.

-The Maltz

1+1+1 = $1,000,000

The TSA has collected — and kept — more than $1,000,000 in the past three years from airline passengers who forget coins at checkpoints. The "cash leader" among airports was LAX Airport ($89,375) with Las Vegas' McCarran International a distant runner-up. Chattanooga (Tenn.) Metropolitan Airport left just $1.20.

Urban Waterfalls

As you know, The Maltz is a blog about observations so hopefully The Maltz will always leave you a little more informed, a little more knowledgeable. Here is a cool little somethin' somethin' I found for those looking for summer fun in NYC. The four waterfalls will grace the city from July - October and will be located at:


1- Pier 35 in Manhattan (just North of the Williamsburg Bridge)
2- Under the Brooklyn Bridge, near the Brooklyn anchorage
3- Between Piers 4 and 5 (near Atlantic Avenue in Brooklyn)
4- North Shore of Governor's Island

Check out the website for more info: http://newyorkcitywaterfalls.com/

Kalamata Ciabatta

The Maltz thinks this is a fun word to say out loud: Kalamata Ciabatta. Try it.

just some thoughts

Although relatively nice weather today, it must really rain a lot here in Seattle. So far The Maltz has been told to "enjoy the sunshine" 4 times already..

The Maltz wants to try this but isn't sure if its legit. Has anyone given this a whirl? http://www.mredepot.com/servlet/the-364/Yoder’s-Celebrity-Canned-Bacon/Detail

And one last bit - now that the Red Wings are the Stanley Cup 2008 Champions, The Maltz thinks the team should be asked how they feel about Tiger Woods and his season ending knee surgery. Something tells me they won't forget his comment, "I don't really care, it's all about the Dodgers. I don't think anyone really watches hockey anymore.”

The Plane, The Plane

The Maltz was in a car service yesterday when the driver was pulled over for speeding on the way to the airport. In the end, The Maltz made the flight but it was a close call. Is a tip still necessary? On 1 hand, the guy was having a rough enough day as is but on the other hand he didn't do his job. The Maltz is a man of the people so he tipped him but was it the right move?

Once on the plane, the obese lady sitting behind The Maltz kept leaning and pulling on the back of his seat whenever she got up. After the 3rd occurrence, The Maltz politely asked if she could refrain from using the seat as a clutch when getting up. Obviously, she was so fat she couldn't stand up on her own but it was seriously affecting The Maltz's travel (read: beer spillage). The lady apologized and all was well for about an hour, until of course it happened again. The Maltz realized there wasn't much more he could do so he did what any decent, beef jerky loving man would do - he dropped the SBD on her. Problem solved for the rest of the flight.

The hour of power

Before The Maltz announces the winners of the Top 10 Wedding Cocktail hour hors d'oeuvres list, it's only fair that there is an even playing field. Here is a list of the contenders, now its your turn to write in with any items that were left off the list:

Pigs in the Blanket
Mini Reuben's
Baby Lamb Chops
Mushroom & Goat Cheese Tarts
Crab Cakes
Mini Tacos
Mini Lobster Rolls
Chicken Satay sticks
Beef Skewers
Bruschetta
Egg Rolls
Spring Rolls
Deviled Eggs
Kobe Beef sliders
Mini Hotburger Hamdog's from Amazing Hotdog
Sushi
Stuffed Mushrooms
Scallops wrapped with Bacon
Shrimp Cocktail
Fried Shrimp
Fried Clams
Coconut Shrimp
Swedish Meatballs

An Inconvenient Truth, About Willie.

Last week the East Coast had high temperatures hovering around 102. Tomorrow they are calling for a high of around 72. That's a huge swing if you ask The Maltz, too huge. I think it's about time The Maltz dusts off Al Gore's documentary snoozer, An Inconvenient Truth.

On another note, the Metropolitans finally fired Willie Randolph. Hopefully, this will lead to more W's than Starwood Hotels so The Maltz doesn't really have a problem with it. Personally, I would have fired Jerry Yang instead. Talk about not being able to get things going...

Two quick notes:
a) The Mets management has to work on their timing. I mean, when the Mets were losing Omar gave Willie his vote of confidence. Instead, they fire him when they are on a winning streak having just come off a victory (their second straight, and third in four games).
b) Why did Minaya wait for the West Coast trip? The Maltz views that as a doofus move, that NY-LA route is never ending. He should have done the deed in NYC and skip the flight. Who knows, maybe he likes plane food..

Lastly, in case Tila Tequila is reading this blog, please know that The Maltz reserves a special place for you in his heart.

Three observations

Three observations on this fine Monday morning:

1) What's with people wearing the baseball hats with flat brims and the manufacturer stickers still on it? I don't know about you but I'm ready to go back to the curved brim, at least it showed effort. You had to wash it in the dishwasher, store it overnight with the brim tucked into the plastic fastener in the back, etc...

2) And speaking of head gear, I just don't get the whole style of wearing a ski hat indoors; especially in the summer? Who started that trend anyway?

3) Is there a better noise than the pop of a Mamouns bag at 3am? That pop is like hitting the lottery.

the "right" moves

After reading the note about the UPS Truck vs USPS Truck and their hazard usage, a very loyal reader wrote in with an interesting tidbit. And since gas prices are higher than Ton Loc on a Tuesday night, The Maltz would like to share it with you. Happy driving this weekend.

“U.P.S. to limit the number of left-hand turns its drivers make”
http://www.nytimes.com/2007/12/09/magazine/09left-handturn.html?_r=1&adxnnl=1&oref=slogin&adxnnlx=1213362528-ufsdLEEGB4biCQcsszHXpg

Trivia Question

Trivia Question:

Which NHL goaltender won back-to-back Vezinas, as well as four of the last five? Here are some hints:
*This goalie has logged the second-most minutes in NHL history
*This goalie has extended his own NHL record with his third straight (seventh overall) 40-win season. No other goalie has more than three.
*This goalie has won 35 games 11 straight seasons. No other goalie has more than three 35-win campaigns
*This goalie has 12 straight 30-win seasons, an NHL record.
*This goalie has 96 shutouts and holds sole possession of second place on the all-time regular season list, 7 shutouts away from the record.
*This goalie is not Henrik Lundqvist, as the Rangers suck.

questions...

The Maltz recently been inundated with reader requests for more Blogs so The Maltz is happy to report that The Maltz will be increasing the frequency in which he posts. The Maltz likes lists, so here are a few questions to share with you:

1) Who uses their hazard button more, the US Postal Service Delivery Truck driver or the UPS delivery guy?

2) Speaking of the USPS, why do people always do a double look after dropping mail into the mailbox on the street corner - don't they see it fall the first time? and since everyone does it, how come we don't have a name for it?

3) The Maltz likes the tacos at Fresh Tortilla Express. They also serve Chinese Food under the name Peking Chef and both share the same phone #. When The Maltz calls for delivery, they always answer the phone with a greeting, "Thanks for calling Peking Chef, may I have your order?" How do they know which restaurant to answer the phone with? They never get it wrong...

Coming soon:

*Top 10 Wedding Cocktail hour hors d'oeuvres

*New York City best urinals

the answer my friend, is blowin' in the wind

I went to FATS (Fat Annie's Truck Stop) last night before heading over to the WAMU theater at MSG to see Robert Plant and Allison Krauss. The service and food was good, especially the Texas Tornado Tots (tater tots topped w/ bacon, cheese, pickled jalapeños, scallions & ranch).

But I'm not here to talk about the food or even the concert. Instead, I want to recognize the hand-drying mechanism FATS has in the bathroom. Usually restaurants provide cheap paper towels to dry off with. Some restaurants still use the rolling towel dispenser that make your hands dirtier and wetter than Tila Tequila.

For a bunch of years now, restaurants have been using the automatic hand-dryer to save trees, promote cleanliness, and to save a few bucks. Everywhere I went I was running into the hand-dryer and it annoyed me. I always had a major beef with the automatic hand-dryer because it never got the job done properly. I mean, how long can you stand there, with all that noise, next to strange dudes in the bathroom? Every time I would walk out with my ears ringing and my hands wet...

Well, I'm happy to report that FATS has an automatic hand-dryer that was top notch. It was powerful, quiet, and got the job down in 5 seconds. I was so surprised that I contemplated washing my hands again just so I can dry 'em again. I was blown away, no pun intended.